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Disagreement about having kids a common factor in divorce

With having kids comes an immense investment of time, energy and money, and not everyone is willing to make the sacrifices required to raise kids. Unfortunately, many New York City couples don't talk about their individual positions on having children until after their nuptials. If couples are not on the same page about when, and if, to have kids, this type of disagreement may lead to divorce.

A couple profiled in an article on The Times and Democrat website found out too late that they held differing opinions on children. The man, now 46 years old, wanted to have kids, but his wife didn't. The couple remained childless, and the husband admits that the decision caused feelings of guilt to develop between them. She felt guilty for denying him something he wanted dearly, and he felt guilty for making her feel that way. Eventually, the couple was able to work things out.

Not every marriage fares so well, however, so prior to getting married, couples should discuss the issue of children. They should also talk about what would happen if there is a later change of heart. The article also discussed another case in which a husband and wife divorced because, while they both agreed they didn't want kids at the beginning of the marriage, the husband later changed his mind. The wife then felt betrayed by this turnaround.

In addition to property division and other legal issues common to separations, it's a good idea to add a section about children in a prenuptial agreement. An attorney can help couples draw up agreements that address the legal issues surrounding kids, including child custody, child support, parent relocation, visitation plans and other related concerns. This ensures each person is on the same page. The agreement can be modified at a later date if the couple so decides.

If you would like to know more about prenuptial agreements and other marital planning issues, feel free to stop by our New York prenuptial agreement page. Our firm helps couples comfortably map out their marital future.

Source: The Times and Democrat, "Kids, no kids? One or four? When couples disagree," Leanne Italie, Aug. 27, 2012

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