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Topics to avoid in custody battles with the ex

New Yorkers engaged in contentious custody battles as part of a divorce have to be very wary of disclosing any information to their exes that could negatively impact their case. Even seemingly innocuous remarks can be taken out of context or used against you in court.

It is inevitable that you and your ex-spouse will communicate, if only while making arrangements about visitation with the children. What is important is that you don't let your guard down and reveal anything that could cast you or your fitness as a parent in a bad light. Below are some potentially troublesome conversational topics to avoid when discussing anything with your ex.

-- Rumors or secondhand news involving the ex.

-- Health issues that are troubling you. The perception could be that you aren't up to the rigorous demands of full-time parenting.

-- Anything to do with the divorce or custody case that you don't understand. Take that up with your family law attorney.

-- The state of your finances. It's no longer their business.

-- Your career trajectory.

-- Vacation plans. If your children will accompany you, their other parent needs to know the bare bones details, but don't elaborate.

-- Any proposed custodial or financial settlement.

-- Your sex life, or lack of one, as the case may be. Just don't go there.

-- What you do in your free time. You're single now; don't explain.

-- Any plans of moving away from New York City.

If you find that you need to vent about your spouse or the divorce in general, a therapist is your safest outlet. Failing, that a trusted friend unencumbered by ties to your ex is the next best choice. Any legal questions should be directed to your family law attorney.

Source: Fairsharedivorce.com, "What Not to Talk About During Your Divorce" accessed Mar. 24, 2015

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