Are your fights leading you to divorce court?

Sometimes, a divorce takes one spouse by complete surprise; other times, both are ready to split the sheets and be done with one another.

But marriage therapists point out that most divorcing couples tend to have the same series of arguments when they are hovering on the divorce precipice. They include:

-- Wondering why they no longer have marital relations.

It's a common complaint of couples bound for divorce, says one author and psychotherapist. Spouses can deny one another sex when they are angry about other issues.

-- Accusing the other spouse of taking them for granted.

There's a fine line between developing a comfort zone with the status quo of a marriage and no longer making the effort to value the other spouse's contributions.

-- Hurling accusations that the wife or husband has already disengaged from the marriage.

One clinical psychologist at Northwestern University's The Family Institute notes that physical and emotional detachment from the marriage can sink it fast. Setting common goals may help get it back on track.

-- Failing to communicate.

Communication breakdowns are a primary reason for couples splitting up. When the lines of communication go dead, spouses can make assumptions that become fatal to a foundering marriage.

-- Using the children against one another.

This is devastating to the children and a huge marital mistake. Take the high road with your spouse and protect the kids from the fallout of your fights.

-- Wondering if your fights are even about the same things.

Sometimes, disenchanted couples don't even realize that they are essentially fighting about two or more different things. The fight itself becomes symbolic of the undercurrent of marital dysfunction.

If you are ready to pull the plug on a miserable marriage, don't act out of haste. Discussing your options, rights and responsibilities with a family law attorney before taking action is a wise move.

Source: Huffington Post, "6 Arguments All Couples Have Before They Divorce," Brittany Wong, Sep. 11, 2015

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