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The importance of keeping your emotions out of your divorce

Divorce is an emotional experience. However, it's essential not to let your emotions color your decisions. Your financial future as well as the well-being of your children, if you have them, is at stake. One New York divorce attorney says a big mistake she often sees clients make is that they "think emotionally –- which is not financially practical."

It's an attorney's job to remain emotionally detached. If clients come into the office and cry or vent, a good attorney will listen. However, as this one notes, it will cost you. It's better that they spend their time on other matters that will help you. She says, "Try to use your attorney to get the job done -- that's what you hired your lawyer to do, to actually finalize your divorce and get you through that legal process."

Too often, people fight with their spouses over custody just to get back at them. She asks, "Is it worth spending all this money, say, fighting for custody of your kids, when at the end of the day you're the one making most of the decisions and they spend most of their time with you anyway?'"

Being aggressive with your spouse is only going to end up costing you more. Every filing and court date will add to the cost of your divorce. It's more important to be knowledgeable about your and your spouse's financial situation going into the process.

It's also wise to weigh the costs and benefits of filing for divorce now rather than later. For example, if your spouse is due for a large bonus at the end of the year, it may be financially worthwhile to wait so that you can seek a share of that. Perhaps home prices are beginning to edge up in your neighborhood. Maybe you'd rather wait until you can sell your home for the most money possible.

An experienced New York family law attorney will help you look at the practical aspects of your divorce so that you can come out on the other side as financially sound as possible. He or she can also likely recommend some good therapists and support groups where you can deal with all of your emotions.

Source: Yahoo! Finance, "Confessions of a divorce lawyer," Lisa Scherzer, Feb. 27, 2018

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