Relationship killers: Avoid these bad habits

Divorces are frustrating for the people involved, and they can stem from many issues in the relationship. If you're not yet sure if a divorce is the right answer for you, then you may want to learn more about some of the most significant killers of relationships.

One of the most significant relationship killers is putting down the other person. For instance, blaming them for dirty dishes is a bad habit. It takes all blame away from you and makes it seem like it's a criticism of your partner's actions. Instead, you should phrase the reaction differently. Saying, "When the dishes aren't cleaned up after dinner, I feel like my request doesn't matter to you." Then, have a discussion. Perhaps there is a reason why your spouse can't, or won't, clean up.

Once you know the problems in your relationship, there's a chance you can fix them. For example, did you know that changing statements to questions can help defuse situations involving anger? Here's an example. If you come home and see your spouse is angry, don't say, "I know you're angry at me," in an accusatory manner. Instead, phrasing it as a question, such as, "If you're angry at me, can we talk about it?" This helps open up discussion without aggression or defensiveness.

Another good habit to get into is using "me" terminology instead of "you" terminology. Explain how you feel and why, but don't blame or demean your spouse when doing so. Say, "I feel this way," not "you make me feel this way."

These tips help some people turn around their marriages and avoid divorce, but marriage isn't right for everyone. If yours is coming to an end, you should begin planning for your divorce.

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