Parents who share children will have to determine how to raise their children as a team if they end their romantic relationship. This isn’t an easy situation, but it’s usually what’s best for the children.
Co-parenting can be stressful, so finding ways that you can reduce that stress can help everyone involved to better adjust to the new way of life.
Communication must be calm
Adults who go through a divorce often look forward to not having to communicate with each other once the legal proceedings are completed. While many will get that wish, those who share children will have to continue to communicate with each other for the sake of the children. Using calm communication that focuses on the children is one of the most important ways you can reduce the stress.
Focus on your child’s needs, not your own feelings
It can be tough to put aside personal history or lingering emotions, but co-parenting is about your child, not the past. Avoid using them as messengers, asking them to choose sides or venting about the other parent. Keeping things child-centered helps them feel safe, supported, and free from adult stress.
Be flexible when possible
Life isn’t always predictable, and flexibility can go a long way. If one parent needs to switch a weekend or handle an unexpected situation, try to be accommodating. A little give-and-take builds goodwill and sets a healthy example for your child.
Stay consistent with rules and routines
Children thrive on consistency. While your homes may have some differences, try to align on key areas like bedtime, screen time, discipline and schoolwork. When both parents enforce similar rules, kids feel more secure and know what to expect, no matter where they are.
Celebrate the wins, big and small
When things go smoothly—whether it’s a shared holiday, a successful school event or simply agreeing on a change in schedule—acknowledge it. Positive reinforcement encourages more cooperation and helps maintain a productive dynamic.
It’s best to get the parenting plan set as early in the situation as possible. Working with someone who’s familiar with these matters may be beneficial, so they can guide you through the options you have.