Many people navigating custody negotiations in New York divorce expect that conflict should end once there is a custody order in place. Either the parents or the courts can decide on a specific division of parenting time and decision-making authority.
The terms the courts approve govern the relationships that the adults have with the children and one another until the children reach adulthood. So long as everyone consistently complies with the terms of the custody order, the risk of conflict should be minimal. However, co-parenting adults in New York sometimes experience situations in which they fight with one another despite the existing custody order. For example, the following issues might lead to conflict between co-parents who are already subject to a custody order.
Technology issues
From one parent using a mobile device as a punishment when they ground the children to disagreements about screen time limits, technology can very easily spur conflict between the co-parenting adults in a family. Many parenting plans include rules about technology, including who pays for cell service and how long the children can use devices. If parents don’t include rules that age up with the children, they may inevitably find themselves arguing about mobile phones and other technological concerns.
Extracurricular activities
The older children become, the more outside activities they likely want to try. Middle schoolers and high schoolers may join sports teams and help put on plays at the school. Young adults may get part-time jobs. Parents often disagree about how much their children can do or which activities are appropriate. Having standards in place and limits for extracurricular activities can help prevent those issues from snowballing out of control.
Travel and vacations
One of the ways that parents bond with their children after a difficult time is by creating special memories with them. Taking a trip is an excellent opportunity to reconnect. There can be disputes about traveling out of the state or out of the country if there aren’t already rules outlined in a parenting plan. There may also be conflict if a vacation overlaps with someone’s scheduled parenting time.
Divorcing and separating adults who integrate thoughtful rules into their parenting plans have less of a chance of fighting unnecessarily while co-parenting. Working together to implement realistic standards for the family can be an important first step toward a healthy co-parenting relationship.